


Pleiades

by bodylikeabattleaxe



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: suggested LaFerry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 03:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2636351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bodylikeabattleaxe/pseuds/bodylikeabattleaxe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LaFontaine climbs up to the roof for some alone time to think about gender feelings, and ends up running into Carmilla.</p><p>Set right before LaF's disappearance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pleiades

LaFontaine huffed the polka-dotted comforter a little higher on their shoulders as they climbed the ladder up to the roof. This was one of the only places that Perry wouldn’t look for them. She was scared of heights, and the roof of the incredibly tall astronomy building was strictly off-limits.

They walked across the gravel, liking the gentle crushing sound as it molded like mud around their feet. The sky was completely clear that night, no clouds or supernatural fog to block out the glimmering stars. Something about that expanse made them feel like less of a freak. There were a thousand, million galaxies and planets and nebulas, so how could there only be two genders?

Setting down the comforter, they laid back and propped their head on their hands. But blocking their view there was now a curtain of dark hair.

“What are you doing up here so late, bio kid?” Carmilla’s voice wasn’t particularly snarky, which caught LaF off guard. She sounded genuinely intrigued.

“How did you…you should have at least made noise on the gravel, I should’ve heard you,” stuttered out LaF, looking around the blanket.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “I don’t like the ladder to get up here, so I took…another way. Anyways, I figured Perry gave you a bedtime or something.”

LaF put their hand on their forehead and scrunched their eyes closed. “Oh my god. Just don’t right now.”

“Didn’t mean to hit a nerve. Sorry.”

Silence floated between them as Carmilla took a seat on the edge of the blanket and tilted her head up.

“I spend way too much time up here,” Carmilla said quietly.

“This is only my second time. Perry… doesn’t like it, she won’t come up. I needed some space, I guess.” LaF looked down, scooping up some gravel in their hands and letting it sift back to the ground.

“Any particular reason?”

“She won’t stop calling me Susan. She won’t use my pronouns. She doesn’t get any of it and I’ve tried explaining it but she just gets all flustered and thinks I’m mad at her. Which I am. But I feel like I can’t be. I know it’s a lot to get used to but I really thought she’d be better at it. It’s like she can’t deal with me changing at all. She doesn’t get that this is who I’ve always been, you know?” LaF didn’t really expect all of that to come out of their mouth. It was that time of night when boundaries got lower as sleep was evaded. They looked to Carmilla expecting a sneer, but only got a gentle nod.

“People resist change, but it’s always inevitable. Entropy of the universe. It’s a hopeless game – trying to pretend that everything will stay the same.”

“Do you know what I’m talking about? With the name and pronouns and everything?”

“Laura gave me a slight rundown but I’m not sure if she fully understands…”

“That’s my fault. I haven’t been able to have the full conversation with anyone but Perry, and that was abysmal,” LaF paused and ran their fingers through their hair. “I identify as genderqueer. I’m not a girl or a boy. It’s not like I’m perfectly in between, it’s more like I’m totally outside of that scale. I think of gender kind of like an electron cloud, where the particles can hop levels without touching the ones in between and everything is just possibilities…”

Carmilla’s eyebrows furrowed and LaF paused.

“Sorry, science geek here. Anyways, I like my last name and want to go by that. I use they/them pronouns, in the singular sense. And I know that is beyond weird –”

“It’s really not,” Carmilla cut them off. “The whole gender binary is a total Western invention. I’ve been all over the world. Native Americans, India, the Philippines… there’s all kinds of variation. It’s not a big deal. People should call you what you want to be called.”

“Thanks, Carmilla. That’s… surprisingly sweet of you.”

“Am I really that much of a bitch all the time?”

LaF felt a sting in their chest. Here they were, confessing all of these personal details to the first person who had actually accepted them and they basically insulted them in return. It’s not like Carmilla was a ray of sunshine but she’d gotten less grumpy over the past few weeks. Which probably had something to do with her bubbly roommate…

“You aren’t. I’m sorry. You’ve really been such a help with all this investigation. And uh, thank you for forgiving us for the whole tying you up thing. It wasn’t okay.”

“No problem,” Carmilla responded under her breath, looking up again. “The Pleiades are really clear tonight. I always liked that constellation. It isn’t trying to form a shape from nothing but ridiculous speckles. It is exactly what it looks like – a cluster. Just a few very bright stars right next to each other that humans deemed significant. No drawing a dragon or warrior around it; the stars themselves are enough.”

“You’re such a philosophy major,” LaF laughed and shook their head. But they understood what Carmilla was getting at.

“I try. Look, I’ll let you get back to your time with the night sky. Laura’s probably wondering where I am anyways. Good luck with Perry. You know, I’m not sure if it’s so important that she understands all the minutia of it. Just how important it is to you. The girl worships the ground you stand on from what I can tell. Anyways, I’ll talk to you later.”

Carmilla had dusted off the back of her leather pants and disappeared into a puff of black smoke before LaFontaine could think of the proper send off. Though they were fairly distracted by the fact that the vampire could apparently sublimate.

They leaned back on the blanket again and scanned the sky. If they were an astronomical object, they might be a nebula – this dense cloud of stardust, thrown by celestial wind. At the moment they wished nebulas could be seen by the naked eye, but would have to be reassured that they were out there somewhere beyond the atmosphere.

LaF’s phone buzzed, a text from Perry asking where they were. She was worried. It was nice to stare up at the vastness of the universe, but just by seeing her flash on their phone, they wanted to be back in the cramped room they shared with Perry. They wanted to take her hand and talk some more, maybe be a little gentler this time. They also couldn’t believe that Carmilla the vampire had inspired them to be more gentle.

They texted Perry back and assured her they would be home soon. On the walk back they paused outside of the dorm to look back at the sky once more. The Pleiades was shimmering right above them with an otherworldly glow.


End file.
